Been Funky

I guess you could say that I've been in a funk. March is here and I know that we need to schedule another visit from our SW. It's been a year since our SW came to see us and we began this journey called adoption. I'd really hoped that we would have been matched by now. You know when you're pregnant you atleast have a tenative date to look at but with adoption you just don't have that luxury. Reminders of things that I'll never experience have been slapping me in the face the last few weeks and I have to say it really stinks! I know in my heart of hearts that God feels my pain and knows I'm hurting. I know that He is painting for me the big picture and I've yet to even see the canvas He's using but sometimes you just want things in your time. I've been reminded also of how God is refining me in the waiting and He knows just when I'll be ready for that special child he's preparing for me. I just don't want to feel this way right now. I just don't want to!