Reflections...Not Resolutions

Today as we celebrate the end of another year, I've been reflecting on what 2009 meant to me. Looking back on my last post of 2008, I was so hoping that God would bless us with a child in 2009. That didn't happen, yet God did open up another avenue for us with regards as to how we'll become a family. I'm so thankful he placed embryo adoption on my heart and then opened Chad's heart up to the same idea. I'm not sure what 2010 will hold for us but I'm confident that God is mapping it all out for us.

2009 held some milestones for my family.

*My mother turned 70 this year. To look at her you'd never know that she's that old. She's a remarkable lady who I look up to every day!
*My youngest niece turned 1. She is such a doll and I'm thankful that I get to spend as much time as I do with her!
*My second oldest niece graduated from high school! Finally!
*My dad had a complete knee replacement and can walk so much better now. It was a tough go there for a while but he made it through!
*I was totally suprised with my 40th birthday party in July! My wonderful sisters did it just so I could experience having a party in the summer. My offical birthday is in December.
*My entire family can boast of having one of the healthiest years in a long time!

That's just a glimpse into what 2009 brought to us.

I don't tend to make resolutions because I always break them but I have decided to make some goals for 2010. I want to eat healthier, exercise more and spend more time with God! Tomorrow brings a new year with new anticipation of what God has in store for me and my family!

Happy New Year!

Wordless Wednesday

Calling Again

The last time I called our clinic was Nov 10th. I think that I'll give it to the second week in January before I call again. I have a feeling that with the holidays things have been kinda crazy there so I'll wait until around the 9th or 10th to call and see what the latest update is for us.
We were told that we would begin looking at profiles in January. Chad is ready to get this process started. I think that we've come to the conclusion that embryo adoption will be the way that we have a family. We'll have to update our homestudy in March again and we just don't want to go through that again. Our insurance doesn't cover the physicals and it's not cheap. We'll probably just pay the remainder of our balance on our homestudy and not pursue domestic adoption any more.
I'm ok with that!
Chad was hoping that we'd have a little one to share next Christmas with. Of course it's not impossible just not probable. We'd have to atleast have our transfer in Feb/March and I'm just not sure that's going to happen. I'm not saying it won't but I just don't see the possibility of it happening that soon!
God could have other plans and it could work out for us that way and I'd be ecstatic but I'm not gonna hold my breath!
I'm just gonna continue to wait and see what God has in store for us in 2010!

The BIG 40

Today is my 40th birthday! It's hard to believe that I'm 40 because to be honest, I don't feel it! My body may be beginning to tell me that I'm getting old but I don't feel it! I've heard the old saying that you're only as old as you feel and I feel young. Perhaps it's because I'm surrounded by children all day but they do tend to make you feel younger.

I've had many birthday wishes and I'm truly grateful for my family and friends who love me in spite of my weaknesses!

Wordless Wednesday

Hard to believe

It's hard to believe that Christmas is just 2 days away. Thank goodness I'm done with my shopping! However I'm still waiting on one gift to be delivered. It's aggravating because I placed the order on the 2nd of December. You think that'd be plenty of time to get something shipped. I just checked today and it's suppose to be delivered on Christmas Eve. Talk about cutting it close. I do have a back up plan if it doesn't arrive so I won't be stuck, hopefully!

This is the first year in about 8 years that I've worked the week of Christmas. It's been fun because I love spending time with my best friend! She's my assistant and I love her to death! I also love that Chad and I haven't gotten even closer with her and her family! They truly are precious friends!

Christmas is such a special time of the year to enjoy the company of friends and family, sing carols in church, eat until you pop, and reflect on the previous year. Yet this year I'm doing my best to really focus on Christ and what his coming to earth truly means to me! With his birth we know that God sent His only Son to the world, to become man and live among His people. He ministered to everyone while here on earth. The lonely, the broken-hearted, the poor, the despised, the sick and even the Phariees. It didn't matter what circumstances brought them to Him, he just wanted to make sure that when they left Him they were changed!

It's my prayer this Christmas season to truly worship Him and when I come away that I'm truly changed by Him! May you be changed as well!

On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. Matthew 2:11

What Christmas is all about...

Yesterday at work we had our annual "Birthday party" for Jesus. We gather in the gym and I tell all the children the Christmas story. We sing a few songs and then we light the candles to sing Happy Birthday to Jesus. We usually have a big birthday cake but to save some money we made cupcakes for everyone. It was a good time!

To add to the party we always ask our older children (3's, 4's and 5's) to tell what kind of gift they would give to Baby Jesus. As I was posting them on the wall in the hallway, I was humbled by one of the children's gifts. It was simply put yet so true...

I would give Him Me! Because that is what He wants!

To see Christmas through the eyes of a child and hear such a profound statement come from a 5 year old is truly amazing!

May I experience Christmas this year by giving myself to Jesus Christ totally!

Wordless Wednesday

Santa Visit

Santa Clause came to visit the children here at the daycare today. It's so much fun to see the wonder in the children's eyes as they sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas! Of course we had some that would have nothing to do with him but overall it was a wonderful visit. Santa was so good with each child and very patient with those who got upset.

It's hard to believe that he comes to visit in just 2 weeks! Hope I'm on the list!

Wordless Wednesday

It's a blah kinda day

It may be the rainy damp weather putting me in a blah kinda of mood today but I hate when I feel like this. It's on these days that my infertility really hits and I just have uncontrollable thoughts about not having a baby! And what makes it worse is that I work in childcare and am I'm constantly reminded of it on yucky days like today. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job! I'm thankful that God placed me in this job and I can share in the many blessings that children can bring each day. But today is just a bad day. I hurt today and it's a deep inside kinda hurt. Especially now that the year is coming to a close and I just knew that 2009 was going to be our year. It just stinks!
And to add to the day, we have our church staff Christmas party tonight. I'm not in the mood to have to put on a happy face and be nice to other people. I'd much rather go home and get comfy with a blanket and watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas". But it's almost required that we attend this party. It use to be fun because every couple would bring a gift to play "Dirty Santa." We'd cut up and laugh and really have a good time but we now go to a restaurant that isn't conducive to play any games or even share with everyone. I'm not looking forward to it at all!
It's just a blah kinda day!

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas!

It's starting to feel like Christmas for me too! The weather has been cooperating making it feel more like the Christmas season! I know I live in the South and we typically don't have much of a winter but of the few things I do like is for it to be cold during Christmas. We've had several Christmases when we've worn shorts and it just doesn't make it feel like Christmas when you're wearing shorts! So I'm thankful it's beginning to be cold and stay cold!

I've gotten a good bit of my shopping done. There are a few people on my list I've yet to buy for but at least I have an idea of what I want to get them. I'm one of those persons who loves to see the reaction on their face when they open a present I've given them. Nothing is more priceless! You can tell so much by their reaction! Hopefully all those who receive gifts from me will have a good reaction.

I was reminded last night at our annual "Hanging of the Green" service just exactly what Christmas is all about. God sent His only Son to earth as a baby so long ago in order that I could receive his wonderful gift of salvation! How awesome a present is that! My prayer this Christmas is that I really take in the true reason for the season in all that I do! Hope you do as well!

I'm so excited!

For those who haven't noticed I added a new ticker to my blog! See above! I'm going to Disney World!! I can't wait! And what's more exciting is that I get to share it with two wonderful friends and their families! What adds to all the excitement is that none of them have ever been to the World! I can't wait to see their expressions and how they'll react to the most Magical place on earth!

Chad and I plan to take 5 of our nieces with us too! 2 of them have been before but the other 3 haven't so that'll add to the joy too!

I can't wait to see this ticker end!!

Decorations

This is the outside of our house. We added the swags on the windows and the little trees on the porch. I like it!



This is my Christmas tree. I think it looks like a Charlie Brown tree. There are some ornaments that I've bought over the years but for the most part they've been given to me. I do have a few small glass ornament balls that my grandmother hung on her tree. Those I'll treasure forever!




This is my mantel. There's not much to it but it's pretty at night when we're sitting in the den together.

Is it December already??

I can't believe that today is the first day of the last month in the year 2009. Where has the year gone? I get a little depressed when I think about this year because I just knew that this would be the year that we became parents. I honestly had a good feeling that this Christmas we'd have a little one to spoil. But God has other plans for us right now.

Waiting is so hard yet I've seen God working in my life through this wait. That's why I've decided to really enjoy the holidays this year. Who knows this could be the last Christmas we spend as a family of two. I want to take it all in not just with my eyes but with all my senses. To smell, hear, taste, and feel all things Christmas!

Can't wait to get started!