FET tomorrow

Our transfer is tomorrow! It's finally here and I'm more nervous than excited. However I do know that God brought us here and we're gonna see what He has in store for us. It's been a long journey beginning in 1997 when we first started trying to conceive. Who would have thought that it would take us this long to reach a point where it's this close and almost a possibility? I can honestly say that as I look back over those first few years when I didn't have a clue that we could be labeled "infertile" and just wish that we would have done some things sooner. Looking back on our domestic adoption journey I wish the same thing as well. If we'd only done things sooner where would be now? But then I have to stop and realize that God has a plan for each of us. It's our choice to take the road He's paved for us or take matters in our own hands. And I've seen what relying on my own choices can do!

Tomorrow is a new step on our journey of bringing a child into our home. It's a step that I'm taking with caution and alot of prayer. I truly feel like God has ordered each step with this process and He's going to continue to order these steps whatever the outcome will be.

I'm excited that my older sister will be there with us! I don't get to see her that often and sharing this experience with her will make it that more special. I know that my family and friends are praying for Chad and me! I'm so thankful for that and know that those prayers will be felt tomorrow!

Trusting God to be with us every step tomorrow!

Tender

I just went to adjust my pants and hit last night's injection site. Ouch it's a little tender. No bruising just a slight knot. I'm hoping it will go away and won't stay like that for long.

Chad did a good job of giving me the shot last night. Of course my sister was there looking on for Chad's sake. He wanted her there. But overall he did a good job!

We increase the dose tonight. But for the most part they haven't been bad at all.

I've been having trouble sleeping the past two days. I'm not sure if it's anxiety or just having to get up to go to the bathroom. I'm praying that I can sleep through the whole night up to and after the transfer!

3 days to go!

We're picking up steam

I had a dr. appt. today. Everything looks good with the ultrasound and my blood work. The nurse practitioner even called my lining "pretty". I'll take that! If you asked me what she saw on the screen, I'd have to say alot of grey and white static.

I get to start my antibiotic and the dreaded PIO shots tomorrow. Chad and I were shown how to do them but I'm still nervous about them. I think it's more the initial one that I'm fearing. The unknown just doesn't sit well with me. I have asked my sister to come help us with the first one because I think Chad is just as nervous as I am. It should make for a fun memory!

Transfer will be Thursday the 25th at 11:45. Can't wait!

Stress Free??

Is that even possible?? I'm trying so hard to remove some of the stresses in my life in prepartation for our embryo transfer next week. But today wasn't so good! If you've ever had to work in an environment with 29 other ladies you'd know what I'm talking about. Why do women have to be so catty, gossipy, emotional, defensive, etc?? Why is it so hard for women to get along?

I've told my assistant that next week I'm going to do all that I can to have a stress free week! I'm so praying for a calm week and no major situations to occur that could possibly stress me out.

My doctor's appointment is tomorrow to check the lining of my uterus. Hopefully it looks good and we can proceed on to the next step. Which by the way is the infamous PIO shots. I'm taking my box of meds to the appointment tomorrow so that they can show us how to do the shots. I'm anxious about the shots but will do all that I can to get through them if the final outcome is a baby!

One week and counting!

Nervous

My nerves are getting the best of me. I have horrible heartburn and just don't feel like eating a whole lot these days. I'm struggling with the possibility that this could be our one time shot at having a child. I asked our coordinator the other day what happens if we don't acheive a pregnancy. I didn't like her answer. We would meet with the doctor and see what possibly went wrong and ultimately would have to go back on the waiting list to do it again.

That is hard for me to take in right now. I'm sure that there are other options for us to do like look at another clinic, try the NEDC or even look at the website Miracles Waiting. And I know that I'm getting WAY ahead of myself but I can't help but think about things like this.

I've been praying for God to grant me peace about the whole process but it's so difficult, especially when I'm the type that wants to be in charge. Everytime I start to go there in my mind I ask the Lord to help me through.

My meds should arrive today. I'm a little nervous about looking in that package. I can handle shots but I just can't remember the last time I had one. I've been reading how others dealt with the PIO shots and I'm scared. It's thick and I have to do them through the first trimester. Can I get an OUCH!! We will take our meds to our appointment on Friday and hopefully they will show us how to do the shots. I'm praying Chad can do them for me but know that I can call my sister to help if it's needed.

8 days from today I could possibly be pregnant! Hard to phathom right now but trusting God to work a miracle!

Calendar Arrived

Our calendar from the clinic arrived today! I was a little nervous opening it. I have an appointment on Friday the 20th to check my uterine lining. I will start the dreaded PIO shots on Sat. the 21st. I'm nervous about those.

The actual transfer will be on Thursday Feb. 25th. After reading that I was super excited. They are planning to transfer 2 embryos. That makes me feel a little better because I was under the impression that with my age they would be implanting 3. Chad felt better about that number too! I did freak him out when I told him that there is the possibility of one of the embryos splitting into twins.

I do know that God is right in the middle of all of this. He is ordering our steps through it all!

Hope I make it through the next two weeks!

We're not Crazy

Chad and I met with a psychologist today. I was nervous because I wasn't sure what to expect. But I have to say it went really well. He was very personable, easy to talk to and he totally pegged Chad and me. I couldn't believe it. I did ask him at the end if we were like some of the other couples he had seen and he said yes. I was happy about that! Hopefully that's a good thing!

We suppose to get several inches of snow tomorrow! I can't wait! I'll have a four day weekend now!

Pills

I hate taking pills! I truly do! I do my best to hold out and not take anything, especially when I'm sick. But right now I take one pill in the morning and 6 pills in the evenings. I started my estradiol today and along with that I'm taking 3 pills of metformin, 1 prenatal vitamin and 1 folic acid. I hate it!

I had to set the alarm on my cell phone to help remind me that I have to take them. I just can't remember on my own. However, I do realize what the end result may be from doing all this! It is the one thing that keeps me going!

Finally

Aunt Flo reared her head today! I can honestly say that this is the first time I was excited to see her. I will start my Estradiol tomorrow. I called the dr. office and hopefully they'll send my calendar out this week. I can't wait to see what I have to do!

I've been nominated

A big thank you to Angie at There is a light at the end of the tunnel for nominating me for this award! I can't believe that my little corner of the blogworld is being noticed!

I'm suppose to share 7 interesting facts about myself. Let's see if I can find 7.

1. I have 4 sisters and no brothers.

2. Me and my sisters can quote Steel Magnolias to each other and do so often. We even call each other the names. I'm Ouiser.

3. My favorite TV show is The Andy Griffith Show.

4. If I could be anywhere right now it would be the beach.

5. I love to sing in the shower.

6. I am considered legally blind but with my contacts see really well.

7. When I first met my dh I couldn't stand him. He was annoying person who eventually grew on me.

Here are my seven nominations:

1. Jonelle Somewhere in the Middle with You

2. Jodi Life Is Now

3.Stephanie Bringing Our Boys Home from Haiti

4. Stacy He Will Carry Me

5. Amy Fourlittleladybugs

6. Jenni In His Easy Yoke

7. Rachel She dabbles

So here's what you need to do:
Thank the person who nominated you and copy the award in your blog.
Link the person who nominated you for this award.
Share seven interesting things about yourself.
Nominate seven fellow bloggers and add the links to their blogs.

The pace is quickening

Oh my I'm so excited! I went and had my EKG and chest xray done today. What's so neat is that my dr. office didn't charge me for the EKG! What a blessing! Also when I went for the xray, the nurse said that insurance wouldn't pay for it unless I was having chest pains or coughing. I told her that I had been coughing. Maybe another blessing will come from that as well!

I talked to our clinic and with aunt flo expected to arrive in the next few days they went ahead and called in a prescription for estrace. I'll start that on CD2. On Monday I'll call and let them know specifically when I started so that they can get my calendar set up.

As ridiculous as this sounds for the first time in a long time, I can't wait to start my period!

Wordless Wednesday

So she called...

and I'm a little bit upset. There are still a few tests that they require for us to move ahead in the process. WHY??WHY?? couldn't she have called me last week and told me this. Aunt Flo is due to arrive at the end of the week and she did say that we could probably move forward this month but I'm just aggravated that I wasn't told about this sooner.

I realize that I'm not the only patient in the clinic but I would have liked to have had a return phone call last week.

Ugh! I'll be glad when our transfer is done and I'll only have to deal with the office here in town. They're alot nicer and more efficient too!

My paranoidal thoughts...

continue! I called my clinic again this morning to talk to the coordinator. I was told that she didn't appear to be in her office and did I want to leave a message. I told whoever I was talking to that I tried to leave a message last week but it went to the nurse messaging line. I asked if she had a direct voice mail that I wanted to leave a message. She assured me that she was connecting me to her voice mail.

Low and behold I get the nurse messaging center again. I'm not sure what's going on but all I want to know is what our next step is. I was told that being put on the gylocphage would not interupt our cycle. I was happy but now I'm beginning to think that I'm getting the run around.

I will say that I have about a hour and half to still receive a call but I'm not sure it's gonna happen.

I just want her to call me back! Is that too much to ask?

Am I paranoid??

I'm beginning to think that our clinic coordinator doesn't want to talk to me. I called several times last week and was told she wasn't in her office. I just got of the phone today and was told the same thing. Of course when I call each time they ask my name so she knows exactly who's calling. When I hear things like this all sorts of scenarios go off in my mind. The first one is that she's no longer working there and they're trying to find someone to do her job. Which in my mind would put a big kink in everyone who's waiting to do a cycle. I know that it's just crazy thinking but I can't help but wonder what's going on. I haven't asked Chad if there was anything in the mail but I do know that first thing tomorrow I'm gonna call again.

Paranoid thoughts go away!