It's a blah kinda day

It may be the rainy damp weather putting me in a blah kinda of mood today but I hate when I feel like this. It's on these days that my infertility really hits and I just have uncontrollable thoughts about not having a baby! And what makes it worse is that I work in childcare and am I'm constantly reminded of it on yucky days like today. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job! I'm thankful that God placed me in this job and I can share in the many blessings that children can bring each day. But today is just a bad day. I hurt today and it's a deep inside kinda hurt. Especially now that the year is coming to a close and I just knew that 2009 was going to be our year. It just stinks!
And to add to the day, we have our church staff Christmas party tonight. I'm not in the mood to have to put on a happy face and be nice to other people. I'd much rather go home and get comfy with a blanket and watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas". But it's almost required that we attend this party. It use to be fun because every couple would bring a gift to play "Dirty Santa." We'd cut up and laugh and really have a good time but we now go to a restaurant that isn't conducive to play any games or even share with everyone. I'm not looking forward to it at all!
It's just a blah kinda day!